Millennials and Gen Zs are more interested in experiences than possessions. The great outdoors beckons them with freedom, health and companionship.
acrylic on deep canvas /20” x 16” / $ 399.
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Seeking Community in a Time of Change
In past blogs, we explored social change and the pressure it puts on people to adapt. We looked at why young adults marry later and birth fewer children. And, at the other end of the age spectrum, we saw what happens to elders when family and friends move out of town or die, leaving them without support. Lastly, we examined technologically savvy teens who replace face-to-face interactions with social media. Adapting to change is difficult, leaving people feeling isolated and frightened. I listen to many of them during counseling sessions and feel their pain. Yet, despite all I hear, I have great hope for the future. The young adults I meet are loving, compassionate, active and community minded.
The need to adapt to change can be troublesome, for it sneaks up to surprise us. To transition from old ways of thinking, a person has to accept that there’s a need to do so. For instance, the need people have for community is the same as it was in previous generations, but the way younger people go about it today, differs greatly. Since lives no longer center around families who reside in stable neighborhoods, ways to communicate on the computer were invented to help us find meaningful relationships.
The flight from small towns and farms to cities initiated change in the way we live. Seeking better employment and more exciting places to roost required newcomers to be aggressive and outgoing when searching for companionship. Finding others with shared interests and values is time consuming. It can take years before acquaintances turn into deep friendships.
Adapting to social change requires forethought, patience and a willingness to practice new ways of interacting. The front porch rocker is no longer the place to go for a chat. It’s been replaced by sitting isolated for hours before a computer. At the same time, the computer is like a friend, for it is now the usual way to be introduced to those with share interests.
The World Wide Web opens doors to companionship. Walking through the door, however, takes a certain amount of courage. At some point it’s necessary to get off your chair and step outdoors. Following are a few paths people take to find community. Some are firmly embedded in the new reality, while others are becoming more so.
1) Used by millions of people, Computer dating services quickly became the norm. Websites like eharmony, Silver Singles, Match.com, and Zoosk sieve members through algorithms that match personal attributes. Those seeking love and companionship no longer wait for introductions from friends, family or matchmakers. As with many internet based services, however, caution has to be taken, for it’s possible to be victimized by scoundrels.
2) Meetups offer adults ways to connect through interest groups. There are gatherings for hiking, dog-lovers, photographers, artists, writers, readers and singers. Those who crave physical challenges band together for volleyball, camping and hiking. There are groups watch ingJapanese Movies, holding Forgiveness Discussions, coping with disability, and even participating in Oil Education sessions. A great many gatherings form around eating, drinking, talking and laughing.
Some of these associations lead to close relationships, but not all. It’s fairly common to attend weekly sessions without befriending the person sitting next to you. Friendships require effort and the participant has to take the next step. It involves a willingness to do meet for coffee or engage in activities with new acquaintances. Close relationships require trust and being open to discussing hopes, dreams and fears.
3) Maker groups come in many flavors, bringing people who like to create together in interest specific groups. Gatherings run the gamut from Digital Fabrication, 3D printing, Tinkering, Data Science to Movie Making. There’s a group called Coffee, Art, and Music and one named Sewing, Craft, DIY. There’s a Wine & Wineries Socializing Group, Hardware Startups, a Healthy-Tech-Think-Tank and even a Rainbow Duct Tape group. Some makers get involved in music festival projects while others form around making Pizza. Think it and you can probably find it as a subset of Meetup.
4) Co-housing: Throughout history, people lived in villages and small co-dependent communities. Not impeded by doors and fences, they helped neighbors needing food and childcare. They joined hunting parties, farmed and prayed. Today, few of us have neighbors who will come running when we need help. According to the 2010 Census Bureau, the average number of people living next door to you is three. They reside in self-sufficient units and take pride in being independent. Yet, private accommodations drain money and time and they don’t contribute to building community.
Today’s young adults are choosing to live communally in dwellings that combat loneliness and isolation. Co-housing is a distinct, yet American, way to reside, for it brings together strangers who value individualism and privacy, yet desire community. Co-housing combines private space with common areas to share meals, gardens, physical workouts, tools, and craft activities. Co-housing is not the same as the hippie communes of the 1960s where finances, cooking, social activities and ownership was shared by all, though it does offer ways to increase social interaction.
Co-housing, began in Denmark in the 1960s and was introduced to the U. S. in the 1990s. They vary in design and size with some being restricted by age while others are intergenerational. How often residents dine together and the extent of their shared facilities varies. Larger developments often employ a community manager to organize events, volunteer activities, and dinners.
Last summer I visited an eco-village composed of twelve houses with footprints limited to 1,200 sq. ft. Each structure was an experiment in energy efficient construction. One had solar heating panels while another used a heat pump. My friend built her house with thick walls that she and volunteer college students insulated with a slurry composed of mud and grass. Property owners share workshops, gardens and communal dining facilities. The compound’s layout makes it easy for people to interact.
Another co-housing development I toured consisted of twenty-four condominiums. Each was constructed with kitchen windows facing the compound’s playground. The founders wanted residents to feel like they belonged to a loving extended family. Seniors are encouraged to share their time and wisdom with children living in their community. Neighbors help each other with everything from home maintenance to childcare, cooking and shopping. All residents buy into the development’s land and participate in maintaining its property.
Home ownership is not a requirement for co-housing to be successful. Apartment buildings are being similarly built around shared amenities to encourage relationships that keep loneliness at bay. I’m impressed by Roam, a fairly new global community of co-living and co-working spaces where dwellers sign a single lease and live in sites worldwide for a week or a lifetime. Since so many people work from home, roaming the world and taking advantage of global housing while earning a living is enticing.
5) Shared living and work spaces are growing trends among Millennials, Gen-Zs and even some Baby Boomers. Unrelated adults join to purchase homes or rent rooms in houses where expenses and upkeep are shared. Living with housemates is more affordable and less lonely than being alone, and it allows money to be saved and used for travel. Sharing is part of the minimalist movement sweeping the country. Status is gained by having few posessions, getting by as a one-car or zero-car family and using services like Uber, Lyft, Smart Cars or CarGo.
Businesses are adapting to societal changes by incorporating ways to promote community into their planning. For example, Capital One Cafes turned traditional banking into a place where customers (and non-customers) can get coffee, work, chat with friends and receive help with banking needs. Rather than provide services, many businesses are using data to facilitate transactions for people when and where they want them. Bicycle and scooter rentals, Airbnb, apartment/home lending, WeWork, talent-sharing are a but few. Tools are borrowed through sharing resources like “Neighborgoods” and tool lending libraries, and fashionable clothing can be rented through stores serving black tie events.
Notions of what constitutes success is being redefined. Rather than measuring the size of their house or bank account, younger generations see success as purposeful work and meaningful relationships. According to Blake Morgan Self-sufficient Americans live in homes and apartments behind closed doors. of Forbes magazine, “Companies (like Capital One) that can transfer to become more experience-focused are the ones that will succeed in the changing world.”
I agree with her assessment but go a step further. The time is ripe for redefining our relationship to the land, not just to people. The “relational worldview” model, seeking harmony among competing factors may offer insight in how to do this-but that’s another story.
References:
Morgan, B . ( 2019) NOwnership, No Problem: An updated Look at Why Millennieals Value Experiences Over Owning Things. Forbes. retrieved from
Mairs, J. (2016) Millennials want experiences not possessions, say co-living entrepreneurs. deZeen. retrieved from https://www.dezeen.com/2016/04/05/co-living-shared-collective-accommodation-housing-millennials-trend-common-wework/
Goodhart,S. (2018) Shared housing— millennial or Baby Boomer trend? The Washington Blade retrieved from https://www.washingtonblade.com/2018/11/30/shared-housing-millennial-trend/
Roam, An international network of co-living spaces. Retrieved from website at www.roam.com.
Marr,B.(2016) The Sharing Economy- What IT Is, Examples, and How Big Data, Platforms and Algorithms Fuel IT. Forbes. retrieved from https://www.forbes.com/sites/bernardmarr/2016/10/21/the-sharing-economy-what-it-is-examples-and-how-big-data-platforms-and-algorithms-fuel/#6e8b58037c5a