Search for Community
Between 1870 and 1920, eleven million people migrated from rural to urban America. Today, only two percent live on farms or ranches. Due to industrialization, homogeneous towns disbanded and city dwellers had to find ways to connect. They joined churches and animal clubs like the Lions, Elks and Moose, and participated in business/charity associations like Rotary. The upper classes became members of exclusive clubs and joined Masons, Shriners and Junior Leagues.
My immigrant grandmother met women in a corner knit shop where needles clicked in time with their mouths as they shared local gossip. Krewes sponsored balls and floats in New Orleans and New Years Associations contributed to the Mummers Day Parade in Philadelphia. Youth organized themselves in social club or gangs which offered protection as well as a sense of belonging. Sports and Gentlemen’s clubs, those organized around nationality of origin, and unions made it tolerable to live next to strangers who traveled silently on subways and trolleys.
As years passed, many of the clubs lost their luster, finding it difficult to recruit young members. But though membership declined, the need for community hasn’t changed. Living in cities distant from relatives and childhood friends, electing not to be married, it is easy to feel lonely and isolated.
Most of us are aware of some of the ways internet brings people together. Sites like match.com promise love connections. LinkedIn allows participants to scan profiles and send “Connect with Me” notices. Tweets, Instagram feeds and Facebook are avenues for friends and acquaintances to stay in touch, share interests and seek advice. But, though friends spend hours communicating on-line, it cannot allow them to touch or look into eyes while sharing a meal. You cannot notice a person’s flush when they say something awkward or sexy. And a friend recuperating in a hospital can not be helped or comforted from a computer as they can from a warm bodied friend.
Face-to-face relationships are as important as they ever were. The way people form friendships and develop community today is a reflection of changes brought about by the economy and population growth interacting with the internet.
Snowbirds and Nomads: A growing number of retired people travel south for the winter and north in the summer. Wealthier snowbirds have condos in gated golf communities or travel in forty-foot RVs, camping seasonally at resorts or state parks. They party and join fellow campers who own dune buggies, horses and kayaks. Over several years deep friendships develop, forming community based on shared interests.
A burgeoning subset of seasonal travelers, are less affluent nomads living in second hand RVs, school busses, pickup trucks and sedans. They drive the highways to reach mega-lots outside of warehouses run by Amazon, Walgreens and Walmart, where they are employed seasonally. They may harvest sugar beets or sell Christmas trees and pumpkins at roadside stands.
These wanderers are middle class Americans who do not have enough money to retire. The Great Recession of 2007 wiped out their savings. Though many are educated, they can only find employment in low paying jobs that demand long hours of physical labor that is not enough to sustain them. Eventually they sell their possessions and take to the roads. They sleep in parking lots, truck stops and public camping areas in warm weather and reach out to family and friends when it turns cold.
Their way of life is more freeing than expected when they first embark on it. Fellow nomads are friendly and helpful. They use the internet to stay in contact off-season, sharing advice about jobs and places to camp. They pass the hat when someone’s vehicle needs repair, help them if they are ill, share meals, play cards and socialize. They enjoy their freedom, stay off the grid, use solar power and participate in community. Like gypsies, these wanderers develop an appreciation for adventure and escape from social norms. The lifestyle becomes more difficult when they can no longer lift a 50 pound bags or stand on their feet 10 hours a day.
Makers – A diverse group of inventors are drawn into affinity groups around art, electronic music, science, and technology. Maker fairs, held in most states, feature inventions and activities that take place in garages, museums and homes. Open to the public, they are attended by NASA, MakerBot Industries, Shop Bot, 3D systems, Kickstarter, Autodesk, Instructables, universities, etc. 3 D printing is the latest explosion along with robotics, electronics, metal fabrication and computer controlled technology, though woodworking and aboriginal skills remain in the mix. Makezine.com is a good place to go to find out what’s happening.
Intel, General Electric, science centers and education institutions sponsor maker spaces. But a great many more are organized by individuals with a desire for community. Makers are more than hobbyists. They are multi-age inventors who enjoy the diversity of talents and skills gathered together to execute someone’s project. Maker spaces encourage grown-ups to play with leading edge technology. They construct everything from terrariums, music venues, computer designed knitted ski masks and t-shirts with electronic messages to mechanical-art sculptures. They allow those with unfulfilled potential (often college drop-outs) to show off and have a chance of attracting investors.
Habitat for Humanity is an organization that is built around community. Volunteers along with the future homeowner, lend expertise and muscles to construct affordable housing. Those who stay involved for years, going from project to project, form tight friendship groups. Building a habitat house reminds me of they way the Amish gather to raise a barn. It is a a joyful event with a tangible outcome that puts smiles on the new owner’s face.
Meetup.com—More than a web site, “meetup” it is a movement that connects like-minded people to small affinity communities. I belong to Nine Bridges, a writers group promoted on meetup.com. My group is one of hundreds over a five state region that meet weekly, giving twelve people the opportunity to read from their work and receive criticism.
Meetup categories range from outdoors & adventure, sports & fitness, photography, food & drink, music, film, LGBQ, Language & culture, Beliefs to Movements, Pets, Hobbies and Crafts, Fashion & Beauty. There are social and career & and business sites listed as well. Connecting is easy for those willing to leave their homes, computers and TVs to venture forth into the unknown.
Street Life – Homeless youth are also a communal lot, sharing much more than the sidewalk. They understand each other, for most left abusive home situations to seek safety and shelter on the streets. The young adults they meet are their friends, even if they only interact for only one day. Friends hang out, play games in parks and share survival skills. They couch surf at the homes of more those who have an apartment. They are loyal to a street code that prohibits tattling and promotes sharing. They lend money, food and drugs when they have them.
Older homeless denizens also share community, though members may be less healthy because of mental and physical illnesses developed from imbibing alcohol and drugs and living in inclement weather. They socialize on sidewalks, in parking lots and under freeways, sharing their stories and information about services and shelter. When given permanent lodging, they often miss their street buddies. I was on the board of a group called The Giving Tree that helped homeless people adapt to housing and saw first hand how depressed some become. While holding a weekly tea in a unit for elderly people, a woman jumped from a 6th story window. Suicide is not uncommon among the newly housed and insect infestations are rampant. To combat isolation we provided cooking, cleaning and art classes.
Social Clubs – Clubs pull young adults together for music, film, food and drinks. An example is the White Owl Social Club which features everything form live bands and comedy skits to movies shown with old fashioned projectors. Prices are moderate and stereo volume kept low to allow for conversation. Social clubs are more than a restaurant or bar. They are gathering sites for friends who share apartments and homes that are not large enough to accommodate a group. Pool and ping pong tables, bowling alleys and foosball provide a Chucky Cheese type experience for grown ups. Comfortable sofas, a fire pit, and laid back gathering areas make it easy to relax and deepen friendships.
Burners and Festivals- Many young adults spend summer months traveling from festival to festival engaged in a culture around music, art and community. Small Burning Man style festivals that operate throughout the world (China included) preach compassion and sharing over commercialism. Corporate logos are never displayed and money doesn’t change hands. People assist with the work of setting up, cleaning up and feeding attendees. Resources are willingly shared. One camp (a friendship group) might operate a misting tent, while others dispense food, provide entertainment, psychological advice, showers and off-beat clothing. Technology, art, bright lights and colors flash from bicycles, floats and sculptures. Dancers twirl fire while techno-music plays until dawn. What makes Burning Man unique is that the camps are composed of people who value creativity and the arts. Friends meet year round to work on festival projects.
My son occupies a transmission shop that he converted into living, office and shop spaces. Friends gather weekly to implement techno-art projects for festivals like Burning Man. They have fun while maintaining community. Festivals provide them with deadlines, goals and purpose. They think of themselves as family and support each other throughout the year.
Senior Centers – Day centers operating throughout America bring the elderly. into community. They provide information and connection to local health, housing and legal services, yet most are a great deal more than counseling centers. They offer recreational activities, classes, lectures and discussion groups and a place to lounge. Some operate in conjunction with service organizations like Meal on Wheels. The YMCA, Urban League, Native American Family Centers, Latino Networks and private non-profits are actively involved. Their goal is to kindle joy and make retirement purposeful. I’ve given talks at senior centers in wealthy suburbs and in poor neighborhoods. What I’ve witnessed in general, is that those who participate are active, age well and enjoy being with a community of peers.
There are a great many ways people participate in community. Gangs, political organizations, veterans associations, food and craft groups, church committees, professional and exercise clubs, and shared office workspaces unite people by common activity, affinity and proximity. Co-housing is one I hope to explore another time
References:
Kahn Academy website (2018)America moves to the cityKahn Academy. References: retrieved from website. https://www.khanacademy.org/humanities/us-history/the-gilded-age/gilded-age/a/america-moves-to-the-city
Merchant,N. (2017) Feel like you don’t fit in? Here’s how to find where you truly belong. ideas.Ted.Com. retrieved from. https://ideas.ted.com/feel-like-you-dont-fit-in-heres-how-to-find-where-you-truly-belong/
Agrawal. M. (2018) Community is Everything: How to Build Your Tribe. Inc. retrieved from https://www.inc.com/miki-agrawal/community-is-everything.html
Bruder,J. Nomadland Surviving America in the Twenty-First Century (2017) W.W. Norton & Company, New York