Several years ago, one of my girl friends fell in love with a Pakistani man. While on a trip to meet his family she became ill and was confined to bed for a week. A relative was assigned to sleep in her room, usually under her bed until she recovered. When healthy, the family insisted she be accompanied by a woman when out walking. My friend said that she had a wonderful visit and enjoyed meeting her boyfriend’s family but found it difficult to have her personal space continuously invaded.
The amount of open-space we need, differs from person to person and culture to culture. We form bubbles around ourselves that make us feel nervous when punctured. People who grow up in heavily populated cities in Pakistan are much more tolerant of being touched and having people stand close beside them, than those raised in wide-open spaces.
U.S. studies that measure closeness show that good friends and family want 1.5 feet to 3 between them. Casual acquaintances and co-workers prefer 3 to 10 feet and strangers want more than 4 feet between them. These boundaries vary depending on whether it is a professional relationship, a male to male or female to female encounter or a romantic vs. platonic one. Europeans tolerate people being wrist-length distance apart rather while we are an arms-length culture.
When taking a seat in a crowded auditorium we commonly leave an extra seat between ourselves and our neighbor. In a crowded theater, however, sitting next to someone is expected, so there we experience little discomfort. Personal space is carved out on highways as well. I find nothing worse than being followed too closely by a tailgater.
World travelers often have a difficult time adjusting to crowds where you are close to hundreds of other people. Cairo residents, for instance don’t have a sense of personal space. People brush up against each other without thinking, drive around obstacles created by randomly parked cars, and jump on buses if they don’t have the fare. With little privacy, apartment buildings employ guards, bawabs, who pay attention to the comings and goings of residents and tell potential bridegrooms if their fiancés entertain men.
The Washington Post shared a study of personal space conducted with 9,000 people in 42 countries. In Brazil, metro-riders commonly engage with each other, chatting freely with strangers rather than isolating themselves with their cell phones. Brazilians are more touchy-feely than we are and they pay more respect to the elderly and mothers with children. Friendly behavior is commonly practiced among strangers even though the country is riddled with crime.
The study went on to say that people in South Americas require less personal space than those living in Asia. In Romainia, strangers stay their distance but friends are kept close while in Saudi Arabia, people stand farther away from friends than Argentinians do with strangers. Hungarians prefer love ones and strangers to remain at arms length.
Though differences vary by country, there are also commonalities. Women prefer more space from strangers than men. Residents in warm areas tend to move closer together than in cold climates, and old people stand farther away from neighbors than younger ones. In all countries in the world, infants don’t mind being kissed and held close by adults. Children don’t start forming personal bubbles until the age of 3 or 4 when the amygdala begins to sense fear and become active when there’s a threat to safety.
Thoughts of personal space make me wonder about other species, birds in particular. How do they fly so close and are able to move in formation? Beaks and feet are used to sense touch, noses point direction, and formations call on a sense of space that use properties of physics to its advantage. Geese in a V-Patterns create “air paths” with less resistance to cover long distances efficiently. The upwash created by the lead bird helps support the weight of those that follow. Maintaining formation, requires communication through sight, sound, response to external stimuli, and changing wind patterns. Birds, such as the Ibis, position their wing tips carefully and sync their flapping which saves energy during a flight.
Thousands of Starlings fly in murmuration, a whirling, ever changing pattern that is an amazing dance to observe. It is as though they are connected, yet they twist and turn and change at a moment’s notice. One starling is connected so closely to the next, that they appear to know when to turn spontaneously. It is now known that they react in milliseconds to their seven closest neighbors.
Human beings also react to neighbors when in moving in formation. We allow the bubble around our personal space to be invaded and feel comfortable coordinating our movements with others. Dancers in a corps de ballet, the blue angels, and synchronized swimmers move harmoniously in close proximity to each other. As we seek to better understand ourselves, it is good to explore the boundaries that define our personal space.
References:
Mayne,D.(2019)Etiquette Rules of Defining Personal Space, The Spruce. https://www.thespruce.com/etiquette-rules-of-defining-personal-space-1216625
Fadel,L.(2013) How different Cultures Handle Personal Space. NPR. retrieved from https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2013/05/05/181126380/how-different-cultures-handle-personal-space
Erickson, A. (2017)What ‘personal space” looks like around the world. The Wahington Post. retrieved from https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2017/04/24/how-close-is-too-close-depends-on-where-you-live/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.88b00df38297
Ganzalez,K. (2019) Personal space in Psychlogy: Definition, cultural differences and issues. Chapter 10 Study.comretrieved from https://study.com/academy/lesson/personal-space-in-psychology-definition-cultural-differences-issues.html
( 2019) What is a Murmuration? Wonderopolis. Science. retrieved from https://www.wonderopolis.org/wonder/what-is-a-murmuration
Waldron, P. (2014) Why birds fly in a Vi-formation . Science.https://search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?hspart=pty&hsimp=yhs-pty_news¶m2=db063b7c-ab9e-498c-afda-6ade9148185f¶m3=news_~US~appfocus1¶m4=s-lp0-dsf_news–bb8~Chrome~how+do+birds+fly+in+formation~6F29AA9B0D0401B5AFD2AC8D43A603F0¶m1=20190526&p=how+do+birds+fly+in+formation&type=cn_appfocus1_cr
Art is always for sale. Personal Space is 20” by 16” , thick canvas, acrylic painting $299. contact me at marilynne@eichingerfineart.com.