On Top Of It All
20” by 19”, Mixed media, $399.
Questioning how to give meaning and purpose to life is ongoing. Answers evolve and change with age and circumstance.
Winter holidays usher in a joyful bustle of activities with family and friends but since it is the end of one year and start of another, they are also a time to pause for reflection.
When I was sixteen my boyfriend asked, “which is better a life of love or a life devoted to a quest of knowledge and its application to living?” Without hesitation we both chose love, but as years passed, there were times when the quest for knowledge and career ambitions made us rethink our answer. Today I would respond by saying both.
My memory was stirred by an article I read this week on BBC’s news website. Educated Indian women were forced to give up doctoral ambitions to improve people’s health care in order to be full time mothers taking care of their families. Married women “are not expected to want the privilege of thinking and doing research,” said one of homemakers interviewed. Yet, in India, woman are starting to speak up and not give in to custom. They are finding ways to continue their research through online virtual laboratories and participation in conferences conducted through Skype. Instead of being confined solely to housework, these highly educated women have options never before imagined.
Many other questions were raised during my college years. What is the meaning of life and what idoes it mean to live well? Is there a God? What ethical system should I embrace? How will my activities and choice of profession contribute to society? These questions became buried when raising five children and beginning a career. But every once in a while, a decision had to be made that gave me pause to think. Should I choose advancement, money and accompanying stress over family harmony? Do I go on a business trip rather than stay home with a sick child? Is what I do more important than my husband or children’s ambitions?
From time to time these basic questions suddenly pop up and demand an answer.
As an elder, I am once more reflecting on life’s meaning. When I hear friends saying, “I’ve done enough for others. Now it is time to complete my bucket list,” Is that the best way to conclude my years? But somehow this remark doesn’t make sense. What difference does a trip to Bora Bora, sky diving, or snow shoeing in the mountains make?” These activities can’t be the purpose of living. They can only be a way to pass idle time while waiting to die. Why spend the money? Why change the way I find purpose in life? Then again, why not?
Deciding how to live is not just a quest of the young but it is a multi-year process that twists and turns with experience and circumstance. My answers have been challenged many times as I developed a deeper understanding of the environment and the earth’s far flung inhabitants. Today when I ask what type of person I want to be and what makes life meaningful, I continue to look to the future— not of mine, but of those who will follow me. I still hope that the world will be a better place for my children and grandchildren to live in and would like to share my mistakes and achievements so they can move on from where I leave off. My ongoing quest for knowledge is pleasurable and gives me much do, but I am less focused on a need to achieve and more interested than ever in educating. Helping young adults known as the “me generation” overcome this stigma seems like a fulfilling mission. Inspiring them to embrace a life of love and giving to others is a gift I would like to leave behind.
Merry Christmas to all.