Delilah
Acrylic on Canvas/ 30” by 24”/ gold Frame/ $ 750
What are her thoughts? What does she live for? When she looks in the mirror does she find her youth or only wrinkles?
Honored Citizen Pride
Shortly after my company sold, I spoke to a doctor about retirement. I mentioned that I was worried that I would shrivel up and die within the year. His response was a belly laugh and then, after wiping his eyes, he said that I wasn’t the type–I had too many interests outside of work. “But,” he continued, “some people do whither away. Since they never had hobbies and spent little time developing friendships, they become couch potatoes, age quickly and poof—they’re gone.”
When still employed , I kept a to-do list on my desk that kept me organized. That habit did not stop with retirement. Once the big decision was finalized, I put together an exciting plan to carry me through the next several years. I wanted to learn to write well and to improve my artistic abilities in order to share thoughts, ideas, and yes—wisdom. In order to become more accomplished, I knew it would mean hard work, for I had few years remaining to live.
I’ve had a hell of a life—ran two non- profit museums, founded a for-profit catalog company, raised five children, loved eight grandkids, adopted a street youth, and traveled extensively. Why not share my good fortune with the next generation? Perhaps I can keep a few young souls from making the same mistakes I made. I thought that if I passed on everything I learned during my life-journey then they would have a head start to improving society. I fear that in many ways, my peers and I failed.
Armed with this purpose, I vowed to become a better listener, act compassionately, speak judiciously, and spend more time with family and friends. Then one day, several unhappy thoughts popped into my head. Does anyone want to listen to an aging lady? Is my advice welcome or seen as interference?
The young people I meet today are busily immersed in their own challenges, and don’t seem to mind making mistakes. They want independence and to be allowed to fail, though they do relish encouragement to try again. They see the world through a slightly different lens than I do. Yet, they act similarly to the way my son did when, at 15 months, he learned to climb stairs. Each time I put him at the bottom of our carpeted steps, he took the climb as a challenge and went at it with a vengeance. There was no stopping him. He was determined and single mindend as he climbed to the top over and over again, never fearful of falling. When I went to take him to another place he cried so hard that we stayed put for almost an hour. I turned him bottom first so he could climb down as well as up. My hands were always in place, ready to catch him.
Perhaps the real test of wisdom, is not sharing what you know but rather creating possibilities for others to discover on their own. It means stepping back into the shadows, yet remaining as an available safety net in case of a fall. The same son, now and adult, recently told me that the reason he was able to take risks at work, was that he knew that neither his father nor I would let him starve or go homeless. We were a security blanket folded in the back of his mind that allowed him to soar. Interestingly, our role was simply to witness and applaud his successes and commisurate with him about his failures.
Now adults, my children do not need me. They are independent, well launched, travel their own roads, and do so with gusto. Most have families to care for and don’t live nearby. I am at the edge of their thoughts, and when we get togethers it is as companion and friend, not parent or teacher.
Since I don’t have to work, raise children, babysit grandkids, or even decorate the house, what keeps me ticking? I like learning. I don’t want to be a dinosaur stuck in the mud to be covered and fossilized. Reading, thinking, traveling, analyzing, embracing change—and yes sharing ideas, especially when I get a response, give me energy.
Secondly, I like helping the young people I come in contact with achieve their own dreams. What fascinating challenges they have as they move through a technological, social media connected world and what wonderful enjoyment I derive from watching them! It is hard to keep up with their comings and goings. Lucky me. I plod on, a little wiser—maybe, a bit more silent, always older and seeking the truth in all things. ______________________________
Do share your thoughts about aging below. There are many times when we are called on to rethink our purpose in life. What is yours?
Art is always for sale. Contact me at marilynne@eichingerfineart.com.