Life Rolls With Hope

Male and female role models have the power to inspire children to succeed and thrive or to fail and despair.

During the book launch party for Lives of Museum Junkies, I was asked what could be done to attract more women to the sciences. I responded that I was more concerned with what was happening to boys than to girls. Girls were advancing in academia. The follow-up question was: why?

The answer starts with how the education system and modern family structure fails boys. Psychologist Dr. Leonard Sax notes that the boys he sees in his practice lack passion for real-world activity. “They disdain school because they disdain everything.”

According to the National Education Association (NEA), girls exhibit superior social and behavioral skills to boys at every grade level. Two-thirds of high school students ranked in the top 10 percent of their class by GPA are girls. They not only earn better grades, they are more likely to pursue advanced training after high school. In 2022, there were 2.5 million more female than male undergraduates on U.S. campuses. Fifty-four percent of the women graduated, compared to only 43 percent of men.

It’s not that girls are more intelligent than boys, but that they tend to work harder. More girls than boys are enrolled in advanced placement classes and serve as valedictorians. Though some of the gender discrepancy can be attributed to financial factors, a record number of girls receive college scholarships, making it easier for them to continue their education

Young men tend to be more cautious than women about taking on student loans, and they’re more likely to enter the job market without a degree. The initial pay scale for men at the non-degree level is higher than that of women. However, the consequences of not completing college are severe over a lifetime: a diploma or certificate is increasingly necessary to secure a well-paying job. Those without degrees are twice as likely to be unemployed and are often the first to be laid off during a recession.

Researchers DiPrete and Buchmann found that girls are more persistent and have greater self-control than boys at every stage. Girls derive more satisfaction from performing well and don’t struggle with the internal conflicts many boys have about masculinity. In poor neighborhoods, girls are more likely to climb out of poverty than boys. Men between 25 and 31 years are 66 percent more likely than women their age to be living with their parents.

With the rise of affirmative action, organizations like the Girl Scouts, along with parents and teachers, began telling girls they could succeed in any field. They were encouraged, empowered, and held to high expectations. The stigma around science that existed when I was in high school and was one of only two girls in my physics class has all but disappeared. Today, strong science curricula attract equal numbers of male and female students.

For boys, it is mainly in sports where they are encouraged to excel without being labeled a nerd or geek. On the field, they’re urged to push and tackle, while in the classroom, they’re told to sit still and be quiet. Rules and restrictions often suppress their natural drive to explore, and they limit their freedom. Girls are praised for sitting still and being attentive, while boys, fueled by high testosterone levels, are punished for moving around–some even wear their visits to the principal’s office as a badge of honor.

Both sexes benefit from growing up in stable, married households. Though children in female-headed single-parent families suffer more, boys are especially affected by the absence of a father. Without a male role model, many boys struggle to find purpose. This is particularly true in Black families, where 60 percent of households lack a male presence, leaving children to be raised by mothers, grandmothers, and aunties.

The decline in manufacturing and agricultural jobs requiring physical strength hasn’t helped. Men also lead lonelier lives than women, which affects their emotional health and ability to stay optimistic. One in five fathers doesn’t live with his children, and 15 percent of men say they have no close friends. David Brooks writes, “Men account for close to three out of every four ‘deaths of despair’ due to suicide and drug overdoses. For every 100 middle-aged women who died of COVID-19 up to mid-September 2021, there were 184 middle-aged men who died.”

Suggestions to Improve the Lives of Boys:

• Start boys in school at age eight rather than five. The prefrontal cortex and cerebellum, which regulate self-control, mature earlier in girls.
• Encourage fathers to mentor their sons, attend parent-teacher conferences, and participate in activities beyond just sports.
• Attract more men to the teaching profession to increase the number of male academic role models.
• Introduce children to handyman skills. In previous generations, kids learned by helping their dads fix cars, repair leaks, and tackle home improvement projects. Today, with more families living in apartments, few children witness such work. A Kiplinger report notes that high-paying jobs for plumbers, welders, electricians, mechanics, and carpenters are in demand but go unfilled.
• Include more information about gender differences in teacher training programs, helping educators understand hormonal and brain development variations. Boys have a greater need to move and seek excitement.
• Design classrooms for a broader range of learning styles, including kinesthetic, auditory, and tactile—not just linguistic learners.
• All high schools should offer apprenticeships and courses in shop, home economics, the arts, music, vocational training, and financial literacy. Kids should graduate with a passion for a hobby and a clear direction for a career.
• Praise achievement rather than punish failure. My husband and I mentored a young man in Job Corps. He was recognized for small accomplishments with certificates and public praise. He left the program with an inch-high stack of certificates and asked me to frame every one.

A 25 to 30 percent high school dropout rate is unacceptable. Fifty-four million illiterate adults in a democratic society is intolerable. We can do better. We must do better.

References:

Brooks,D. (2022) The Crisis of Men and Boys. New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/09/29/opinion/crisis-men-masculinity.html

Rose, J.(2025) How American Boys and Men are Falling Behind.Top of Mind podcast. https://www.byuradio.org/top-of-mind-how-american-boys-and-men-are-falling-behind-and-what-we-can-do?

Website. (2022) Why Girls are Outperforming Boys in school. The Economisst.  http://neatoday.org/2013/03/05/why-girls-are-outperforming-boys-in-school-2/

Why are boys doing badly at school? The Economist. https://www.economist.com/the-economist-explains/2022/11/23/why-are-boys-doing-badly-at-school?

Website. Degrees of Difference: Male College Enrollment and Completion

(AIBM) American Institute for Boys and Men. Retrieved from https://aibm.org/research/male-college-enrollment-and-completion/\

Larson, W. (2024). Why Are Boys Struggling Academically and What Can We Do About It? The Epoch. Times. htpps://www.theepochtimes.com/bright/why-are-boys-struggling-academically-and-what-can-we-do-about-it-5768846?\

Fioriello, P.(2025). Surprising Facts about How Boys are Treated in Schools.  Retrieved from http://drpfconsults.com/surprising-facts-about-how-boys-are-treated-in-school/

Life Rolls with Hope is a 16” x 20 “ acrylic on canvas painting. available for purchase for $295. Go to https://www.eichingerfineart.com/workszoom/3633607/life-rolls-with-hope#/

 Contact me at marilynne@eichingerfineart.com with questions.

I would like to hear your thoughts about the subject. Please share your thoughts on my blog site at https://www.eichingerfineart.com/blog/200781/why-boys-are-struggling